Experience of discrimination during their lifetime

This introductory section deals with experiences of discrimination during LGBTI peoples lifetime, and includes both current and past experiences. As mentioned earlier, the historical context in which older LGBTI people lived their lives entailed different conditions than those that we see today. Previous experiences of discrimination can also mark a person’s life when they reach old age and affect how they relate to the healthcare system and social services.

In large public health surveys, when it comes to discrimination, compared to heterosexual men and women, a greater proportion of lesbian and bisexual women and men in the age group 64–84 years state that they have been treated or responded to in such a way that they felt insulted during the last three months. In the same age group, more than twice as many lesbian and bisexual women and men compared to heterosexuals reported that they had been subjected to violence in the past year (Public Health Agency of Sweden, 2014:108–109). No differences in the proportion who were afraid to go out alone were found between lesbian and bisexual women and heterosexual women in any age group. Among men, on the other hand, the proportion was greater among gays and bisexuals consistently across all ages (Public Health Agency of Sweden, 2014). There were slightly more lesbian and bisexual women (34%) compared to heterosexual women (32%) in the age group 64–84 who had refrained from going out alone for fear of assault, robbery or other harassment. For men, almost twice as many (16%) say that they had refrain from going out alone due to such fears compared to heterosexual men (8.8%) (2014:135). Among trans people aged 65–94, just over 20% sometimes refrained from going out for these reasons (2015:35). No women in the 64–84 age group stated that they had been subjected to violence in public places, while 0.5% of gay men reported this compared to 0.1% of heterosexuals. 17% of the age group 65–94 have been subjected to violence at some point because of their trans experience (Public Health Agency of Sweden, 2015:32).

The qualitative studies reveal experiences of being discriminated against in life on the basis of gender identity or sexuality in schools, workplaces, religious communities, voluntary associations and in public places. This can include anonymous notes in pigeonholes for mail at work, losing one’s job because of coming out, encountering and needing to respond to homophobic or transphobic sentiments at work, or being subjected to physical violence or threats of violence in public places because of one’s gender identity or sexuality. The historical context plays a role here, where criminalisation, pathologisation and times when different norms concerning gender and sexuality have influenced what a person can be and say during different periods in history (Eggebø et al., 2019; Robertsson, 2013; Siverskog, 2016; Synnes & Malterud, 2019; Vesterlund, 2013).

Another difficult experience  recognised in many studies is that people who have previously been close to the person cut off contact with them when that person comes out (Bromseth, 2013; Eggebø et al., 2019; Meggers Matthiesen, 2019; Siverskog, 2016). Below is an example where Viktor’s sexuality influenced his relationship with his son, and had consequences for his relationship with his grandson:

Here, Viktor’s relationship with his grandchild has been made conditional on Viktor not being open about who he is. Another example is Lena, who lives in a rural area and who previously had good relations with her neighbours, often meeting them for coffee. After she was involuntarily outed as a trans person by her former partner, she was no longer invited home to her neighbours:

As in the examples, it can be children or neighbours who cut off contact, but it can also be partners, one’s family of origin, grandchildren, friends and acquaintances. Another thing that emerged for many participants is that they have lost their rights to their children. This can include both losing custody of their child where the other parent used their sexuality as grounds for them not seeing their child, or having been a co-parent with a same-sex partner at a time when there was no legal right to continue having a relationship with the child in the event of a separation (Meggers Matthiesen, 2019:40; Siverskog, 2016:93).

Thus, there is a link between experiences of discrimination and openness, where openness involves risk-taking: a risk of harassment and being treated badly, and where previous experiences of discrimination can make it difficult to dare to be open (Meggers Matthiesen, 2019). Multiple factors play a role concerning the question of living openly, where the individual’s experiences are marked by when they came out during the course of their life – and possibly also when they came into LGBTI contexts. As mentioned earlier, different times have been marked by different norms, where discretion in relation to the outside world was long seen as self-evident in the context of being lesbian, gay or trans, only later being replaced by ideals of openness. Among these individuals, it is common to have alternated between openness and discretion in different contexts and some were still doing so at the time of the interviews (Eggebø et al., 2019; Lindholm, 2013; Møllerop, 2013; Robertsson, 2013; Siverskog, 2016; Siverskog & Bromseth, 2019; Vesterlund, 2013; Alasuutari, 2020). Hiding one’s gender identity or sexuality from the outside world is often associated with stress and anxiety. A gay man who hid the existence of his partner for twenty years tells of how terrible this was, to deny the most important person in his life – and with it also his own life story (Törmä et al., 2014). There is more about openness in the section on interactions with the healthcare and social care systems.

In the qualitative studies, it is common for lesbian, gay and bisexual people to state that they were aware of their sexuality as a young person, but that it was seen as an impossible life choice because of the spirit of the times, to live as lesbian, gay or bisexual. Therefore, many entered into heterosexual marriages in order to live up to the expectations of the environment, to just pass as ‘normal’, or because it was seen as the only possibility of having children (Meggers Matthiesen, 2019; Robertsson, 2013; Siverskog, 2016).

In several studies, it was particularly common for  trans people to have come out late in life, often after retirement (Löf & Olaison, 2020:261; Siverskog, 2016). At the same time, in the Public Health Agency of Sweden’s quantitative study, it was most common among older age groups to have hidden their trans experience (2015:31). Coming out late in life is explained, for example, by the fact that they had seen it as unthinkable during their working lives, and there is more freedom in the period after working life to choose the contexts you want to be in, but also because society and views about being trans have changed over time. For some, it has meant decades of hiding their trans identity, including stories of hiding clothes, burning clothes, being secretive in relation to partners and children (Siverskog, 2016). For those who have undergone gender-affirming treatment, the doctors in the investigation have previously encouraged people to move to a new place and start over, and not tell anyone about their background. One such example is a man who underwent gender-affirming treatment in the 1970s and moved to a new place where he had only come out to a few people since the move. His doctor told him that he was “an expert at concealment”, to which he replied: “I know, I have been practising all my life” (Siverskog, 2016:135). But it requires constantly explaining things away and making excuses, and he also states that he sometimes dreams of going to Pride or being part of an LGBTI context.

Experiences of discrimination, as well as opportunities to be open, affect a person’s everyday life and well-being, which leads into the health of older LGBTI people.